Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. John 17:17
If you had asked me a year ago about my spiritual life I would have told you that I was fine. Of course I had a few things I needed to work on: I yell now and then at the kids, I don't have the most patience with the kids sometimes, I don't always make good financial choices, I need to read my Bible more. But that is all I'd say. I felt good about my spiritual life. Didn't think I needed to make many changes.
Today is a different story. For the past few months I have realized more and more that I've got a long way to go. The Lord has been convicting me and speaking to me in ways He hadn't before. Was I just not listening?? How can I possibly be a Christian this long and still be at this stage?
Do you have good, strong Christian friends who encourage you in your growth? Do you know someone that when you are near them, even if there is no conversation, you feel CONVICTED or nervous???
I am feeling challenged, convicted, and confused about things. (Secretly I LOVE this feeling. I love it because I'm not comfortable and that must mean the Lord is stretching me & changing me.)
I want something more than the way I have been. I want to know the Lord deeper. I want people to notice the Lord in me. I want to be a good example for my children. I just want to be what the Lord wants me to be.
At the ladies retreat a few weeks ago there were several great speakers who I looked at with admiration. I was hearing the words they were saying, being challenged by their message, and secretly hoping that some day maybe I could know the Lord the way they do. I find myself paying close attention to several ladies that I have come to respect. I am watching the way they act, talk, handle their children, etc. and asking myself if I should make some changes.
I DO have a few people in my life that just seeing them makes me feel convicted. I remember one little thing they say and it stays in my head for DAYS. I pick it apart and wonder if there was some other meaning. I notice the things they do differently from me and question whether I'm wrong or not. (I know that not everything someone does differently than me will necessarily be wrong for me but it is still good for me to examine the differences and make sure I'm doing only whst is pleasing to the Lord.)
I'm tired. I'm not able to make sense of this blog any more so I think I need to end it. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not satisfied with the way my spiritual life is. I want to be like Christ. I want to know Him more. I am excited for the journey. I want to surround myself with people who are ahead of me in the journey. I want to be open and not stubborn. I want to stop seeing things as gray but see them as black & white.
I chose John 17:17 because I know that my journey will not be instant but rather day to day time spent in God's true word- reading, listening, speaking. Spending time with Christian friends. Serving others any way I can. Filling my heart & mind with all of God's word. Please pray for me as I start the next leg of this race. :)
3 comments:
Some of us look at you and see what you're seeing in those other women. ;)You're a great mom, great friend and you serve the Lord whole-heartedly. That's admirable and rare, Amy.
Wow, Kendra. That is so nice. :) Seriously though... I need a lot of work. lol
I agree with Kendra. I look to you and see things that i might want to do in my family. You are a wonderful mother, and I think you're doing super. We all have room for improvement.
AMy Mathias
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