A friend who had shared a prayer request with me asked me in return what MY prayer requests were. I fell asleep in front of my computer before I had a chance to answer her back but I knew exactly what I would write. Here they are:
1. That I would be slow to speak. And when I DO speak, it's under control and quiet.
2. That I would not embitter my children.
3. That I would be encouraged in my daily activities that have become extremely overwhelming and make me feel like going on strike or running away.
4. That I would be the wife that God wants me to be.
5. That I would know if there is anything (other than the 4 things above) that God wants me to work on/change.
Seems like these things are a constant battle for me. The Lord has been working on me in these areas for some time now. I keep trying and failing.
The biggest thing on my mind these days is my children. I really wish I knew 10 years ago what I know now. I wish I could have a do-over. My kids are getting older (oldest is 10) and I am starting to see mirrored behaviors that I'm not proud of. What have I done??? :(
A few weeks (month?) ago I read something really interesting on a blog. You can find a link to the actual page HERE but I'm gonna type out, on my own blog, the part I found interesting. The words I read really hit home. (I plan to print them out and put them on my fridge so I can be reminded ALL DAY LONG how I am acting towards/with my kids.) I fear that the damage is already done and there is no hope for some of my kids. SOOOOOO thankful that it isn't really true. Nothing is impossible with God. He can reach his hand into my situation, grab hold of my children, and work it all out for His glory. I'm counting on that.
That doesn't give me any excuse to keep up my bad behavior. Right now I want the Lord to change me. Fix me. Help me to show His love to my children. I want the Lord to be proud. I want my children to know Him and WANT to serve Him.
Anyway, back to what I found on another blog... I came across a list of ways we ANGER our children. I'm guilty of most of them and have a lot of work to do. So thankful that the Lord loves me, forgives me, and shows me how to do it right. :)
I will leave you with the list. How do you do?
- By constantly criticizing them and not encouraging them. When they feel they can never please us enough.
- By having double standards – Do as I say, not as I do. Expecting them to do things we don’t do, e.g. ask forgiveness, humble themselves, etc.
- By anger and harshness
- By a lack of affection
- By telling them what to do or not do without giving Biblical reasons (e.g., Do it because I said to do it, or because it’s just wrong).
- By being offended at their sin because it bothers us, not because it offends God.
- By comparing them to others (Why can’t you act like your sister?)
- By hypocrisy – acting like a Christian at church but not at home
- By embarrassing them (correcting, mocking or expressing disappointment in them in front of others)
- By always lecturing them and never listening to them
- By disciplining them for childishness or weakness, not for sin
- By failing to ask their forgiveness when we sin against them
- By pride – failing to receive humble correction from our spouses or our children when we sin.
- By self-centered reactions to their sin (How could you do this to ME?)
- By ungracious reactions to their sin (What were you thinking? Why in the world would you do that?)
- By forgetting that we were (and are) sinners (I would NEVER have done that when I was your age).
