Blessings

You  know something that gets on my nerves??? The Bride. The Groom. Newlyweds. lol They think they are the only people who have ever been in love. They look at every other married person and think that those people aren't really in love. They act like they will have the perfect marriage and never make the mistakes that everyone else makes. ANNOYING!!!! But then life happens and they realize that the dream world they lived in was just that- a dream.

Something else that gets on my nerves??? People with ZERO children or people with ONLY ONE little tiny perfect baby who try to tell you how to parent your kids. They often like to point out what your child is doing wrong and they think they know exactly how to solve your problem. These people really get under my skin. I don't want to hear any parenting advice from someone who hasn't walked through it. Example is the best help for me. This group of people are constantly looking at everyone else's kids and thinking/saying, "My kid will never do that!" Eventually life happens though and no matter how hard you try EVERY child will make bad decisions, act up in public right in front of you, get in trouble by their sunday school teacher, etc. And every parent will make mistakes. We don't know what we are doing. And what worked for our first kid probably won't work for our second kid. We are all sinners- PARENTS and CHILDREN. Parenting is trial and error. The Key: With God on our side we can do our best but if we try to go it alone we will surely fail.

You may think I'm being horrible right now but I speak from experience. I was one of those newlyweds and new parents who thought their kids would ALL be perfect. Until you are actually in a situation and given responsibility you can say anything you want about how you would be, what you would do, how to handle something. But until you are actually there and on the other side of it, you have no idea what you are saying.

A few years ago when I had struggled with one of my children for some time and had mentioned it (complained) a few (hundred) times, my brother-in-law said, "That is your child. You shouldn't complain about him all the time."

I was defensive because to me I wasn't COMPLAINING. I was venting. I'm home all day with these kids and by MENTIONING it I was really looking for some support.

Last week I posted a blog about Blake and some issues we are dealing with. Some would look at it as complaining. Once again I was just getting out into the blog world what is going on inside my head. Sometimes it helps me think things through more clearly if I can get it out and read it. Also, I respect and appreciate ALL of the comments & private messages I get in regards to my blog entries. I often fail to respond to them but I read them all and consider everything that is being said. Thank you for that.

I am sure there are people out there who get frustrated with me when I mention anything about my kids in a negative way. Those people with no kids or no experience who have never walked in my shoes can certainly not understand. It's not their fault. We all change our perspective on things once we've gone through it. Still, it gets on my nerves.

Today I woke up with a migraine and decided I wasn't doing history/health/science like I had planned. I couldn't fight today. Instead I decided that after I spent time in the Word and in prayer I would surprise the kids by making all of their beds. :) To some this may not be a big deal because you may make your kids beds every day. I used to. I can't stand a messy bed. But a few years ago I decided they were big enough to do it themselves and I'd just not look and see it made wrinkly. lol.

I went to the boys room first and made their three beds. I folded the blankets on the ends and put away a few toys. I then went into the girl's room and made their beds. I also made sure all of the baby dolls had on clothes and were laying nicely in the doll bunkbed.

As I went from room to room and looked at each bed and the items that were on their bed and thought about the kid who slept in that bed I felt a feeling of guilt. It's so easy to say things that are frustrating you. (People sometimes want to hear that you are struggling cause it makes them feel better- like they are not alone.) But whenever you say something NICE about your child people just think you are bragging. Especially if you say nice things TOO much. And you don't want to say TOO many nice things about your kids cause what if the very thing you are saying that is GREAT about your own kid, some other person is struggling with in their own kid. UGH. I'm about to go insane.

The point is, my children are precious. ALL children are precious. Yes, they all have flaws. We ALL have flaws. Yes, as parents we get our frustrations out hoping someone can give us some advice on how to handle situations we know nothing about. Yes, we sometimes feel like we need to get out of our house away from our kids and BREATHE. Yes, we feel like we are failing now and then. Yes, we have bad days. But that doesn't mean we don't LOVE our kids.

I LOVE my children. They are unique. While Blake's wild and crazy personality confuses me and frustrates me now, I am excited for the day that the Lord will use him for something wonderful. He could have died at birth but the Lord saved him for a purpose. Abigail may drive me crazy with how overly dramatic and sensitive she is but I know the Lord has a reason he gave her EXTRA sensitivity (other than the fact both her parents have more than normal amounts of it) and will use it to touch others.

So instead of venting any more frustrations about my kids I want to end this entry with the things I LOVE about each of my kids. It may be the very thing that frustrates me, but God made them special. Each one so different- different smiles, laughs, personalities, likes, dislikes, dreams. I love them. Why did God pick me to be their Mom? I don't deserve them.

Abigail- the smiley one. Born smiling on her first day (hence- HAPPYtinyAbby) and she has smiled ever since. As a toddler at a restaurant she would look at every person nearby and smile at them until they acknowledged her and smiled back. She still gets comments on her smile- our Pastor recently commented  about her smiling all the time. And her soccer coach said she is always smiling. Abigail is very feminine- always wants her hair & nails to be done. Would do more as far as wardrobe because she is a fashionista but we aren't clothing crazy. She loves the Lord and is very sensitive to the need to reach the lost. She is a quick learner and very creative. She has that motherly instinct even though I never have her do any parenting jobs. She is sweet and cares for people. Would sacrifice so that someone else could be happy.

Ethan- the quiet(er) one. If five people start talking at once, Ethan is the first person to be quiet. He's patient. Has that older-brother instinct and is watching to make sure nobody gets hurt. He doesn't like for me to be sad so I know some day he will be good to his wife. His brain is very mechanical- like his Dad. He can see something and build it. From a very early age he was building tracks and other things that most adults would have a hard time with- unless they had the plans in front of them. He is a bit of a perfectionist and has excellent handwriting. He usually is in the background of a group but if you get him one-on-one he can talk off your ear. He doesn't want to be the center of attention and doesn't want to be on the stage. He is easy-going and rarely causes trouble at home.

Blake- the outgoing one. He is wild and crazy and carefree. He wants to have a good time. He OFTEN says funny stuff sending as all into huge fits of laughter. He adapts well to new situations. He isn't afraid to be alone without a sibling. He knows how to express himself. His memory is awesome. (He completed two entire awana books this year.) He feels bad if he hurts my feelings. He appears tough on occasion but really he is sensitive inside. He is growing in the Lord and trying- on his own- to read his Bible straight through. He likes music and loves to sing with his Mom. :)

Alison- bashful or NOT! When you first meet Alison you may think she is so quiet and shy. LOL. She's funny. She may hide behind someone if you try to talk to her because she doesn't like the attention on her but in time you will see how strong she is. She's the tomboy of the family. Doesn't care about things in her hair and hates to wear SKORTS. She just wants to wear her jean shorts and UPS t-shirt. Totally opposite of her Mom & big sister but I find it interesting and I love encouraging her to be her own person. I don't even try to fight with the hair thing. She will wear a dress to church and that is good enough for me. Also a smiley girl- and some mistake her bashfulness as being rude- but she's a pretty funny girl. She doesn't say things funny as much as she has a playful, teasing personality. She wants to always follow me around and she loves to care for her little brother. LOVES to sing.

Chase- easygoing. EASY from birth. Joined the family and didn't change our routine much. Just fell right into place. Another SMILEY one. Easily entertained. Obeys almost always on the first try. Wants to be rocked by his Daddy. Is a cuddler. Wants to be held or sit up against you. Is the youngest but doesn't put up with the abuse from four older siblings. Tries to be agreeable but doesn't let the others walk all over him. Has gorgeous eyes. Is very helpful if you ask him to help out. When you are sweeping the carpet he finds crumbs for you and places them on the floor in front of the vacuum. Has GREAT hair. Likes to help me pick out what to wear (usually chooses my pjs... lol) and helps me get the lunch items out and on to the table.

Next time you are feeling overwhelmed by situations with your children you should sit down and list all of the things you LOVE about them. The Lord made them exactly how He wanted them.